the feelings..

all my life, i never understand the feeling of worrying.. as, i never seem to understand that y my parents always concern bout me. where am i? wat kind of frens that im hanging out with? asking me all sorts of questions which i feel like " pls stop asking me, already! " i tot i always noe wat im doin. but, seems like. no matter how old u have grown, 30, or 40 or 50.. u will never stops become their little babies.

n i finally understands this now. i started to realise this feelings of my parents towards me or my brothers towards me. caring , worrying over u. n because of this, they will scold u. shout at u. n i feel like i no longer feel sad anymore, when they scold me.. n to9 gettin scolded by my dad for my stupid naive that i had.. i feel bad n worried bout my consequences.. n yes, mayb he had loud voice on me to9.. i feel bad but i understand wat is he tryin to tell me.

but, when i later received an sms from him, i was in shocked. cos he wud never admit if he toks bit harsh.. im not sure.. but, he tells me that he dint mean to tok such loud voice me. he is jus tryin to tell me the fact bout my doings is very dangerous n its not secure at all. n i noe he is right. i feel bit touch n wanted to cry. haha.. cos i noe my dad always cared for me the most compared to my brothers.. but, we hardly really communicate too. cos sumtyms, there's jus nth to tok bout. but, mayb my leaving miri is a start to realise the importance of family..

n now being the eldest here.. i noe wat's the feeling of take caring of the ppl u starting to care n worry bout.. haha.. n i starting to remember bout my parents.. n i finally understands now.. haha.. but, all these feelings have to be stop at the moment.. as, if i dont stop.. i think i may go crazy.. i cannot think too much anymore, as i have so many things tat i need to worry. i cannot keep on continuing to worry bout more than i have now.. cos i can feel the burden which is increasing n increasing on me..

but, still i had one incredible breakfast for the day.. my room mate n i take an early walk to pyramid jus to grab Mc D's breakfast at 830am. such an early morning to go to pyramid. cos, we can buy RM5 to get free 2breakfast meals.. eggs, burger, hash brown** yummy yummy!! we have to be fast b4 the queue is very very long.. cos she had an early class. n i had an exam in the noon.. i need to be in the library whole morning.

n finally finishin my 2nd progress test that i had.. eventho, i think i may not do so well. but, i still can feel the hope within me. im sure, i able to do well in the mock exam. as, i will keep on putting more effort until finals.. im not the type so easily give up especially on my studies.. haha. mayb sumtyms, i may jus nag around by simply saying to let go. but, study is study.. study is never give up. if give up, means lose future..

lastly, i feel so bad too. as i cant believe this year.. i seem to forget my family member's birthday.. i never had such a forgetful mind on my family member's birthday. but, this year.. i seem to forget n i need someone's phone call to remind me.. oh dear!! im such a bad daughter, sister..

but, i miss my family as always..

-31.03.2011-